[B]logophiles
David Alex Nahmod
December 18, 2010
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In the aftermath of Proposition 8, California’s now infamous gay marriage ban, many in the LGBT community were heartsick. Some felt hopeless – it seemed that our relationships, and our love, would never be accepted by society. Leave it to the good people of Marriage Equality USA to make lemonade out of lemons.
When one hears of Marriage Equality USA, Molly Mc Kay is the face the world usually sees. This energetic, decidedly upbeat woman has been seen around the world in photographs and on network news shows campaigning for Marriage Equality in a traditional wedding dress. She and wife Davina were married during that brief window when gay marriage was legal in California. After Prop 8 passed, their marriage was upheld by the court. Molly and Davina’s dream came true, yet Mc Kay continues to campaign for others. On the day that Prop 8 passed, Molly and a male friend stationed themselves at the busy corner of Powell and Market in downtown San Francisco. Their mood was celebratory: California may have been (temporarily) lost, but Sweden had just passed Marriage Equality on a national level. Mc Kay was overjoyed by the news from Scandinavia. Not waiting for other activists to join them, Mc Kay and her friend greeted passerbys, sharing the news about Sweden. They shook people’s hands, sang songs of love, and changed people’s minds.
Molly’s infectious, positive attitude has been the driving force behind Marriage Equality USA. It rubs off on everyone who crosses her path, including Maya Scott-Chung, the Creative Director behind Marriage Equality USA’s Loving Quilt Project. Patterned slightly after the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt of two decades past, the Loving Quilt will be an equally massive, international project. People from around the world are designing quilt panels to commemorate loving, committed, LGBT relationships. It’s a project that’s near & dear to Scott-Chung’s heart.
“Like many LGBT couples, we have many anniversaries,” Scott-Chung said of her marriage to wife Mei Beck. “In August 1999, we registered as Domestic Partners in San Francisco.
“Mei Beck proposed marriage on Oct 31st 2003. One Feb 13th, 2004, we became one of the 4,038 couples who were married during the Winter of Love. Our marriage was annulled in August 2004 by the CA State Supreme Court. We became Domestic Partners again on on August 20th, 2004 to protect our daughter Luna, who was born on Oct. 4th, 2004. We were married once more a few days before Prop 8 passed on Nov 4th, 2008. We were hurt and angry when the Proposition passed, but our marriage was upheld in the Spring of 2009. Yet like many LGBT couples, we remain in legal limbo.” This mind numbing seesaw is a song that many LGBT couples have been forced to sing.
In spite of the far right’s best efforts, most Americans have entered into a quiet, casual acceptance of LGBT people. Marriage, considered by many to be a holy sacrament, remains the one sticking point from which many straight people say they will not budge. As Molly McKay and Maya Scott-Chung so aptly put it, opening people’s hearts and minds is the key. And so, with Scott-Chung, in the driver’s seat, Marriage Equality USA began soliciting and presenting it’s first Loving Quilt panels.
The first showing occurred in February 2007, during National Freedom to Marry Week, at San Francisco City Hall, which was also the third anniversary of the now legendary Freedom to Love, the initial same sex weddings marathon of 2004. Scott-Chung reports that the unveiling was also intentionally scheduled to coincide with the 40th anniversary of Loving VS Virginia. This landmark Supreme Court decision of June 12th, 1967 lifted the bans on interracial marriage that were, amazingly, still in place up to that time.
“Many of the quilt stories feature the voices and visions of interracial families and mixed heritage people,” says Scott-Chung. “Those first thirty panels included photos and text that reflect the diversity of our families and communities as well as the urgency of this issue.”
Ironically, that first showing, and subsequent showings of additional Loving Quilt panels occurred only one block from the CA State Supreme Court building where Justices upheld Proposition 8, and where the Federal Prop 8 lawsuit is now being heard. The outcome of that trial should be known shortly. Whatever the Judge decides is bound to be appealed by the losing side, and the case is most likely going to work its way to the Federal Supreme Court. Meanwhile, efforts by Marriage Equality USA to get Prop 8 overturned at the ballot box, and to implement marriage equality worldwide, will continue.
Since it’s premiere, the Quilt has had showings outside of San Francisco – Scott-Chung encourages people from around the world to contribute panels.
Scott-Chung, who is a co-founder of Baby Buds, a support & peer education group for LGBT parents & extended families, is now creating a website and blog that will document the entire history of The Loving Quilt. She is also creating an online manual for organizers to be able to create their own quilts and to use the quilt as a grassroots public education, art and organization tool. No less than Laura Bush has expressed her support for Marriage Equality. The former First Lady, certainly an unexpected ally, believes that the day will come when marriage equality is a reality.
To help expedite that great day by creating your own quilt, or to offer support to the project, please contact Maya Scott-Chung at
To support other works by Scott Chung or Molly Mc Kay, please visit:
Categories: [B]Logophiles
Tagged: loving quilt
