• Send us Mail
  • Follow us on Twitter
  • Join our Facebook Group
  • Subscribe to our RSS Feed
  • Search Site

Polari Magazine

  • Home
  • Up Front
    • Editorial
    • Clementine: The Living Fashion Doll
    • Polari Safari
    • WTF? Friday
    • Bulletin Board
    • Polari Facts
  • Features
    • Interviews
    • Features
    • Gallery
    • Opinion
    • Heroes & Villains
  • Community
    • Oral Histories
    • Coming Out Stories
    • Relationships
    • IDAHO
    • LGBT History Month
    • Blogs
  • Reviews
    • Books
    • Film and Television
    • Music
    • Stage
    • Visual Arts
    • Classics: Books
    • Classics: Film and Television
    • Classics: Music
  • About
    • About Polari Magazine
    • Contributors
    • Contact

You are here: Polari Magazine / Relationships / Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

  • Scott De Buitléir
26 Sep 2012 / Comments Off / in Relationships/by Scott De Buitleir

Scott De Buitléir is reminded of a road not taken … because there was a road-block.

Scott De Buitléir Wrong Time, Wrong Place

Years later, I still had a soft spot for him.

He was only home for a week, and it was clear he’d made his life in England. University was going well for him, he had a good circle of friends and for the first time ever, I noticed just how happy he was with his life. If anything, his newfound happiness made him even more endearing.

I still remember being tipsy when I first approached him two years ago, possibly the only time I’ve ever tried to chat someone up. I started by complimenting his futuristic-looking watch, and I vaguely remember having a conversation in Irish before getting his number. We went on a few dates, and I brought him to a gay music festival, the first music festival I had ever been to. I remember him having his arms around me as we danced to Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Alexandra Burke, and spooning him that night in his car on a colder-than-usual August night.

Despite the good memories, he was detached while we were dating. I once teased him for having the emotional depth of a teaspoon, but in retrospect, that wasn’t too fair. We were never going to work out either way, because he was only back home for the summer holidays, before returning to London in September. Despite knowing that, I couldn’t help but fall for him a bit. He looked like James Dean, and had a similar air about him. The jacket, the drink in one hand and a cigarette in another, and that attitude of not really caring about much. I was just another victim of falling for the bad boy, but there were many worse than him.

This time, meeting up was different. He hugged me as if he’d missed me, which sounds stupid in my head, but he was warmer than I’d expected. He wasn’t as nonchalant, because the hardships that held him back two years ago were gone. He was just as funny, though, and just as attractive – in every sense. Still, I held onto his every word, letting him rant about his college work despite not having a clue what he was talking about (I’ve never understood maths!) before shyly filling him in on the last few months of my life. We shared a taxi home, and the hug goodbye was just as warm as when he met me in town. In my semi-drunken state, I texted him once I got into bed: Damn you living in London, that’s all I’ll say. I was surprised that after an hour or so, I got a similar complaint about me not wanting to leave Dublin. It was nice to know the feeling was mutual, albeit ill-fated.

The second time we met up that week, it was a date in all but name. During the cinema, I started to do the same things I used to when I first started dating as a teenager. I’d notice where my arm was nearest to his, where my hand was, and if there was a chance I would be holding his before the film finished. I hadn’t felt so nervous about making a move for years – I could’ve easily been all of seventeen again that night. Even as we sat down in a bar after the film, the body language was just right for either one of us to make a move. We were close – close enough that our arms brushed off one another more than once; close enough that our heads seemed to lean in to each other, as if one of us was about to rest his head on the other’s shoulder.

But nothing happened. No move was made and no dreamy looks were exchanged, despite it feeling like the perfect time to do so. Even when we decided to call it a night, I stalled for a moment before getting up off the sofa, in the last hope that he’d kiss me. He didn’t, and I wouldn’t have had the courage to kiss him in the taxi home. I resigned myself to believing that it was for the best that it didn’t happen, because it could’ve awoken feelings I had for him that I long ago put to rest.

By the time this little column goes out into cyberspace, he’ll have already returned to England, and I’ll be back to my own routine in Dublin’s fair city. I won’t deny that I enjoyed those few nice moments, but I guess it was always going to be a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
Tags: alexandra burke, gay date, james dean, road not taken, scott de buitléir, sophie ellis-bexter

Related Posts

Did you like this entry?
Here are a few more posts that might be interesting for you.
Related Posts
What Would Bridget Jones Do?
The Ex Next Door
Press ‘Send’ for Feedback
Going the Distance
Scott De Buitléir, Eile Magazine, Polari Magazine Jekyll and Hyde
Our LGBT Histories: Music – Day 16
The Three-Way Date
When No Turns Into Oops
One For The Ladies
The Date That Miaowed

Search Polari

Latest Posts

  • Polari Magazine 2008-2014December 3, 2014 - 6:16 pm
  • Tearing Up Their Map: An Interview with LambDecember 2, 2014 - 2:45 pm
  • Future Islands • GigDecember 2, 2014 - 1:41 pm
  • Puppets with Attitude (at Christmas)December 1, 2014 - 6:30 pm
  • The Aesthetic of Voyeurism: Interview with Antonio Da SilvaDecember 1, 2014 - 1:25 pm
  • Broke With Expensive Taste • Azealia BanksNovember 28, 2014 - 3:59 pm
  • Royalty Strutting on an American College Stage: Miss and Mr. Gay ISU 2014November 27, 2014 - 2:59 pm
  • Bright Light Bright Light: Everything I Ever WantedNovember 26, 2014 - 11:15 am
  • Jaime Nanci And The Blueboys: ‘Toy’ TalkNovember 25, 2014 - 4:09 pm

About Polari Magazine

Polari Magazine is an LGBT arts and culture magazine that explores the subculture by looking at what is important to the people who are in it. It’s about the lives we lead, not the lifestyles we’re supposed to lead.

Its content is informed & insightful, and features a diverse range of writers from every section of the community. Its intent is to help LGBT readers learn about their own heritage and to sustain a link between the present and the past.

Polari is designed to nurture the idea of community, whether that be social and political, or artistic and creative. It is your magazine, whether you want to read it, or whether you want to get involved in it, if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer.

Polari Magazine is all these: it's a gay online magazine; it's a gay and lesbian online magazine; it's an LGBT arts and culture magazine. Ultimately, it is a queer magazine.

Latest Posts

  • Polari Magazine 2008-2014December 3, 2014 - 6:16 pm
  • Tearing Up Their Map: An Interview with LambDecember 2, 2014 - 2:45 pm
  • Future Islands • GigDecember 2, 2014 - 1:41 pm
  • Puppets with Attitude (at Christmas)December 1, 2014 - 6:30 pm
  • The Aesthetic of Voyeurism: Interview with Antonio Da SilvaDecember 1, 2014 - 1:25 pm
  • Broke With Expensive Taste • Azealia BanksNovember 28, 2014 - 3:59 pm
  • Royalty Strutting on an American College Stage: Miss and Mr. Gay ISU 2014November 27, 2014 - 2:59 pm
  • Bright Light Bright Light: Everything I Ever WantedNovember 26, 2014 - 11:15 am
  • Jaime Nanci And The Blueboys: ‘Toy’ TalkNovember 25, 2014 - 4:09 pm

Twitter

Tweets by @PolariMagazine

Archive

  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • July 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • May 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
© Copyright - Polari Magazine - Wordpress Theme by Kriesi.at
  • scroll to top
  • Send us Mail
  • Follow us on Twitter
  • Join our Facebook Group
  • Subscribe to our RSS Feed
Website Privacy & Cookies