Each Friday Polari shares its favourite WTF?! search terms from the last 7 days.

How do Googlers get to Polari using some of these search terms?

Here are our 7 favourite, and not so favourite, WTF?! search terms from this week…

#1

drag acts doing julie burchill

I can see the set now: a council estate on one side, a bottle of Cristal on the other, and a foul-mouthed drag queen in the middle shouting out insults at everyone in the crowd. Please tell me it’s true. Please.

#2

do gay people poop

No, they have colonic irrigation, because pooping is for animals. Seriously, what planet are you on?!?

#3

does madonna eat men into her v*gina; how many people have had sex with madonna; in what film did madonna have sex with a gay?

It is, as I have said before, tough to decide which of the Madonna searches to feature. This week has been toughest, so there are three. It’s scary how utterly sexist, and misogynist, the searches are. I had to leave one off because it was so offensive that not even Julie Burchill would have said it. Oh, and the term ‘a gay’ is not acceptable, let’s just get that clear.

#4

real picture of achilles

Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but cameras were not invented in Achilles’ day. This is going to be a long search. Just stick with Brad Pitt images from that dreadful Troy film and have done with it.

#5

book about homosexual to throw a stone at

I’m confused by this one. Do you want to throw the stone at the homosexual or the book? Try Edmund White’s A Boy’s Own Story. There’s plenty in there to induce heterosexual panic.

#6

harvey did dinosaurs homosexuality

It starts off sounding like a musical about Creationists. (I know, I gave them some sort of dignity with that capital C, when they’re clearing one gene short of a missing link.) Then, these people are obsessed with homosexuality, so that fits at least.

#7

теннис на самолете (translation from the Russian: tennis on the plane)

Really, these new rich, post-Communist Russians have it all. Unless it’s ‘snakes on a plane’ and Google translate failed us.