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You are here: Polari Magazine / IDAHO / IDAHO May 17 – Men Leering at Women

IDAHO May 17 – Men Leering at Women

17 May 2012 / Comments Off / in IDAHO/by BJ Epstein

To celebrate IDAHO 2012, Polari Magazine is publishing stories from its writers about their experiences of homophobia and transphobia. Some tales are funny, some are shocking and some are sad.

In this story BJ Epstein, writes about men who leer at lesbians in an attempt to get back on top.
………………………………………………………………………………………….

Homophobia for gay and bisexual women sometimes takes the form of prurient, lascivious interest. Men ask to join you in sexual activities or say that they’d know how to turn you straight. They make reference to what you might do in bed, showing that much of their knowledge of lesbians comes from porn. This can create discomfort or even shame, and an easy response would be to just ignore it. But I’ve learned that speaking back when such comments are made can shut people up and sometimes even make them think a little about what they are saying.

I was kissing my then-girlfriend on a street in London. “Yeah!” a man jeered. “Mmm-hmm! Can I come home with you and watch?” My then-girlfriend, barely out of the closet and easily embarrassed, took a step away from me and urged me to hurry to another street. As she complained about how awful homophobic people were, I wished I’d been brave enough to tell the guy where to go, even if my girlfriend hadn’t wanted me to speak up. Not calling attention to ourselves as gay women was important to her.

A couple of years later, I was walking down a street in Norwich, holding hands with my current partner, now my fiancée, and some men were smoking outside a house. “Hey, look!” one shouted. “Lesbians!” Another added, “Are you real lesbians? Woo hoo!” I didn’t let go of my partner’s hand. I smiled at the men and said, “Yeah, and what of it?” They looked taken aback, as though wondering how I dared to question their right to say whatever they wanted to me. One started to say something more about what he thought of lesbians and I politely said, “Fuck off.” My partner and I walked on, still happily holding hands, our shoulders touching.

A small victory, perhaps. But if talking back now and then helps make society more accepting of same-sex couples holding hands, kissing, marrying, or otherwise just living their lives, then I’m happy to keep telling homophobes to fuck off.

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Tags: homophobia, idaho 2012, lesbians, tell homophobes to fuck off

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About Polari Magazine

Polari Magazine is an LGBT arts and culture magazine that explores the subculture by looking at what is important to the people who are in it. It’s about the lives we lead, not the lifestyles we’re supposed to lead.

Its content is informed & insightful, and features a diverse range of writers from every section of the community. Its intent is to help LGBT readers learn about their own heritage and to sustain a link between the present and the past.

Polari is designed to nurture the idea of community, whether that be social and political, or artistic and creative. It is your magazine, whether you want to read it, or whether you want to get involved in it, if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer.

Polari Magazine is all these: it's a gay online magazine; it's a gay and lesbian online magazine; it's an LGBT arts and culture magazine. Ultimately, it is a queer magazine.

Latest Posts

  • Polari Magazine 2008-2014December 3, 2014 - 6:16 pm
  • Tearing Up Their Map: An Interview with LambDecember 2, 2014 - 2:45 pm
  • Future Islands • GigDecember 2, 2014 - 1:41 pm
  • Puppets with Attitude (at Christmas)December 1, 2014 - 6:30 pm
  • The Aesthetic of Voyeurism: Interview with Antonio Da SilvaDecember 1, 2014 - 1:25 pm
  • Broke With Expensive Taste • Azealia BanksNovember 28, 2014 - 3:59 pm
  • Royalty Strutting on an American College Stage: Miss and Mr. Gay ISU 2014November 27, 2014 - 2:59 pm
  • Bright Light Bright Light: Everything I Ever WantedNovember 26, 2014 - 11:15 am
  • Jaime Nanci And The Blueboys: ‘Toy’ TalkNovember 25, 2014 - 4:09 pm

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