In this article, Lyndsay Winegarden writes about the myths that surround bisexuality, and how people don’t like when you don’t fit neatly into a category.
I’ve always been attracted to both females and males but it was not until I was older that I felt more comfortable admitting this, not only to myself but to everyone else. All throughout school I was badly bullied.
I was in High School when the bullying started about my sexuality. I don’t know what it was that the other kids picked up on. Maybe it was just something they thought would bother me, or maybe it was that I’d always had LGBT friends and that a person’s sexuality never mattered to me. Whatever it was I was soon labeled the “Bisexual Slut”. They were right about me being Bi, but I had never been a slut. Funnily enough the Bisexual part of their teasing never bothered me, although at that time I was still in denial to myself about who I was.
As I got older and began to open up about myself, I was told that I wasn’t bisexual unless I’d had a relationship with another woman. I was accused of just attention seeking and so I denied that part of myself and tried hard to supress it. I placed standards on myself that I would never have placed on anyone else, and all because of the things that were being said to me about my not being truly bisexual. I was told I was “Bicurious” and I accepted that silly label.
There were several situations where I fell for various girls. But something was always wrong at the time, I was in a relationship, they were in a relationship, they were straight ….
It wasn’t until I read an article by Kevin O’Neil from Wipe Out Homophobia that I truly began to understand myself fully, and that it wasn’t just my bullies in school who were being biphobic but the people who told me I wasn’t bisexual enough for their standards.
Sadly I still face biphobia from both the LGBT and Straight communities. I still get told that I am not bisexual enough because I’ve not completed some list of “must do’s” in order to fit their definition of bisexuality. When it comes to dating and relationships I face biphobia constantly.
From the men I get “Oh cool does that mean threesomes”, or “Oh I don’t mind if you are with another woman while we are together especially if I get to watch”, to which I explain that I am not a cheater and my love life is personal and private and will never be on show for anyone.
From women I get “I would never date a bisexual girl, they are ALL cheaters”, or “I’m a Lesbian, I would never be with a woman who could be with a man, that’s disgusting”. It hurts and it’s sad, but I hold on to hope that one day I will meet the right woman or man and live happily ever after.
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