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You are here: Polari Magazine / LGBT History Month / Our LGBT Histories: Music – Day 4

Our LGBT Histories: Music – Day 4

04 Feb 2013 / Comments Off / in LGBT History Month/by Bryon Fear

To mark LGBT History Month, 2013, Polari asked its contributors to recall a song that had an impact on their own stories.

‘Reel Around The Fountain’ – The Smiths
by Bryon Fear
………………………………………………………………………………………….

The Smiths played a critical role in my teen years. Until the day I discovered the Smiths, my music taste had been handed down to me by my parents – which is a blessing and a curse. When you are handed down music from the generation before you, you never really feel like you own that music, or that it’s a part of your personal heritage. It’s someone else’s. I think if I had discovered Pink Floyd on my own terms as a teenager they would have blown my mind, but since they were a Sunday favourite they were just a part of the sonic furniture of my parent’s home.

I remember clearly the first time I heard the Smiths. I was with my very good friend Siân, and we were at her house hanging out in the back room den affectionately known as ‘Matilda’. Siân was excited to play me a song, and that song was ‘Reel Around The Fountain’. I was immediately smitten … I had never heard music that touched me so profoundly, and in that way only a teenager can be profoundly affected. I had been carrying the millstone burden of my sexuality since I was 8 years old and now I was a teenager who felt isolated, who had never had his first kiss and who was full of a longing that he couldn’t talk about with anyone. Yet, my unspoken feelings seemed to be woven throughout the lyrics of the songs we listened to that night and my secret was being decoded and laid bare in the music. That evening Siân had unlocked a door through which I knew I had to pass through.

Two weeks later, back in ‘Matilda’ and listening to the Smiths, I passed a very short note to Siân. It contained the three words that frightened me the most in the world – three words that I had not been able to speak aloud for fear and shame. Siân took the note, unfolded it and read it silently. Looking up, she smiled and shrugged a ‘so what?’ and said, “do you want a cup of tea?”.

No further mention of it was made that evening, but Morrissey’s words had a greater resonance for both of us. In that moment our friendship was cemented for life, forged with lyric and bound in music that became an intrinsic part of our friendship and formative years.

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Tags: day 4, lgbt history month 2013, polari magazine music choice, reel around the fountain, smiths

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About Polari Magazine

Polari Magazine is an LGBT arts and culture magazine that explores the subculture by looking at what is important to the people who are in it. It’s about the lives we lead, not the lifestyles we’re supposed to lead.

Its content is informed & insightful, and features a diverse range of writers from every section of the community. Its intent is to help LGBT readers learn about their own heritage and to sustain a link between the present and the past.

Polari is designed to nurture the idea of community, whether that be social and political, or artistic and creative. It is your magazine, whether you want to read it, or whether you want to get involved in it, if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer.

Polari Magazine is all these: it's a gay online magazine; it's a gay and lesbian online magazine; it's an LGBT arts and culture magazine. Ultimately, it is a queer magazine.

Latest Posts

  • Polari Magazine 2008-2014December 3, 2014 - 6:16 pm
  • Tearing Up Their Map: An Interview with LambDecember 2, 2014 - 2:45 pm
  • Future Islands • GigDecember 2, 2014 - 1:41 pm
  • Puppets with Attitude (at Christmas)December 1, 2014 - 6:30 pm
  • The Aesthetic of Voyeurism: Interview with Antonio Da SilvaDecember 1, 2014 - 1:25 pm
  • Broke With Expensive Taste • Azealia BanksNovember 28, 2014 - 3:59 pm
  • Royalty Strutting on an American College Stage: Miss and Mr. Gay ISU 2014November 27, 2014 - 2:59 pm
  • Bright Light Bright Light: Everything I Ever WantedNovember 26, 2014 - 11:15 am
  • Jaime Nanci And The Blueboys: ‘Toy’ TalkNovember 25, 2014 - 4:09 pm

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