Each Friday Polari shares its favourite WTF?! search terms from the last 7 days.

How do Googlers get to Polari using some of these search terms?

Here are our 7 favourite, and not so favourite, WTF?! search terms from this week…

#1

the problem with ireland is the fucking queers

Yes, they should be celibate, like priests – or at least like priests should be. Shame on the Irish and their acceptance of the homosexual agenda. Call the kooks at Exodus International right now!

#2

witch films for teenages

The poor ‘teenages’ and their angst. Do they make such films for them, or is that a by-product of the commercial movie machine? Answers on a postcard (because we’re traditional).

#3

did marilyn monroe behave when making gentlemen prefer blonde

No, she didn’t. If what Anthony Summers says is true, the woman was trouble. But then, she was paid a tenth of what Jane Russell earned for the same film. I’d have kicked up a fuss too. Anyway, that was only because Russell was sleeping with … Howard Hawks? Howard Hughes? Or was it Hudson Hawk?

#4

schoolboys wanking behind bike shed

In my day they smoked behind the bike sheds. We truly are living in a metrosexual age, just like the pontifical cultural commentators have been saying (since the 1980s …).

#5

sick poofs

I have conjunctivitis right now. Is that what they’re looking for? Sounds niche to me … Or maybe Azealia Banks was doing some research on how to further insult the sainted Perez Hilton, who never says anything unconscionable about anyone.

#6

burning nude girl at stake

I can see a straight nerd, the type you’d see in Forbidden Planet, struggling with his sexual desire and his need for power. It’s painful to watch. And so he thinks of the buxom blondes that would reject him and types in “burning nude girl at stake”. And he ends up at a queer look at Madonna in 2012. Ouch, that must have hurt!

#7

gay headshave

It only works if you have either Lady Gaga, Madonna or Barbra Streisand playing in the background – and that all depends on what generation you’re from. Otherwise it’s just a headshave.